¤ solstar..

Right now, I feel like there’s a huge hole in my soul. Why? Is it because my rejection has finally sunk in? I doubt it. I’ve already come to terms with the fact that I am not worth it. Or… perhaps I haven’t?
It all gives me such a headache. Right about now, Sunny is on a date with some guy. I feel like I’m waiting to get jealous or envious, but I can’t seem to feel any of those. All I seem to want is for Sunny to be happy. It’s as if I don’t matter. And, I probably don’t matter in scheme of things. I don’t know. What was I even talking about…
Okay. Here it is.
I might be wrong for it, but I love Sunny. I love him. I love him, and I want him to be happy. I want to be happy, but it’s as if everyone else’s happiness come before my own… It’s like I’m left with scraps. Left with nothing.
Left with a lonely heart.
Left.
Rejected, dejected, ejected from where I’d like to be.
I don’t know.
I’m procrastinating a stupid fucking biology project that I can’t even fucking do because I couldn’t get fish soon enough. I’m just always so fucking disfocused. I’m just such a failure.
Every single thing I do, I fail. I can never do anything right.
I’m just a big, fat failure.
I hate myself.

UGH.

Hm, I think that made me feel a bit better. I just needed to spew that negativity out.
Am I stupid or what?
C’est la vie.