¤ solstar..

love just ain’t my game.
longing and wanting.
it’s so silly and pointless.
because when i think into it, i don’t really like most people.
and i’m a very closed person, so how can i sit here hoping to find someone to…
and again, why would i want one? what can I, a 16-year old, want with a boyfriend? what’s the point of that whole deal…
i mean, i don’t feel like getting groped and kissed by some stranger. and i don’t care to learn about anyone either.
i just don’t give a damn about others.

is it cause i’m still stuck on someone who’s taken? no.
because they’re my friend, and that’s how that is.
i just don’t see the point of romance.
i don’t see why i ‘need’ a boyfriend.
because i really don’t.
so why am i aching for someone?
i’m loved enough here, yet I just want more and more.
what is wrong with me?
it’s like there’s a logical part of my mind that knows the truth and then there’s the illogical half that is so stupid and wants stupid things.
and the stupid part wants to win, but i can’t let it.
i need to take control.
get my grades right, keep my room clean, and please everyone.
fuck that, but no.
not like i have a life or anything.
what kind of rebelling is this?
so stupid.

i hate it.
love just keeps hurting me.
c’est la vie.