¤ solstar..

haven’t been here in a while.
nothing much going on.
except, i’m giving up on that false hope.
sunny never did and never will feel anything for me
so why do i think things might suddenly change
however, I don’t really care much for the idea
of some nucklehead feeling on me or telling me lies to get in
my pants, therefore, i’m giving up on love and all that shit.
i already know i’m loved and am special and shit.
and if i feel like being felt upon, i can do it myself.
hah, that made me lol.

my heart breaks again
and i resolve to break off
this wild fascination
that’s left me in a state of
devastation
for i cannot take it anymore
another shut door
in my face, leaving a piece of me
shattered, disgraced

greedy men take what should’ve
never been within reach
and they take and take
while we give and give
and live
for their sake
however, this isn’t the way to go
we should already know
greedy men don’t give a damn
another shut door in my face
leaving a piece of me
shattered, disgraced.

it’s 1:40 am, and i’m crying.
why?
just finished ‘Tuesdays with Morrie’
A great nonfiction book.
I’ve learned so much from reading this book.
I want to read it again & again and soak it up like a sponge.

All in all, what I’ve gotten out of it in my first read is something I’ve already taken from another book I recently read.

“Live the life that you devise”

Reading that novel made me think of things that are really important.
How material things means nothing in the end.
How living in the fast lane gets you nowhere.
How it all is meaningless in the end.
And what matters most is the human connection.
How you connect with people… sharing yourself and listening and speaking.
And loving and forgiving and compromising.
It’s all so simple.

And things that society puts so much emphasis on… how it all really doesn’t matter.
it really
reallly
really
does not matter.

this has made me change my priorities, or at least gain some.
it makes me think and realize so much.
it’s all about that human connection.
we are all the same.
we are all waves in this ocean, all heading towards that same shore.
that same crash.

i want to share myself.
and be more open.
cause in the end, that’s all that matters.
i’ve found the path to immortality. to eternity.
love is the answer.
love.
spread it, feel it, believe it.
remember it.

What is it about you that I am drawn to
is it your smile, your eyes
your bitchy sighs
what is it that makes my heart scream
through my skin and in my dreams
is it the way you make me laugh
the little quirks that i notice
that little oddities
what is it about you
that i am drawn to
i wish i knew

is it your confidence
the way you just don’t care
is it the way you dare the rest
to mess with you

AH SCREW POETRY.
I FUCKING LOVE YOU MAN.
D;